Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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