You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
