make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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