I should be sponsored by Trojan
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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