listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
is wine microwaveable?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
