i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
