I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
