I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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