i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
