who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I skipped work to stalk him.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
