I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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