How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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