I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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