I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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