the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
that is very illegal...i love you.
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