Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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