somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
