You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
