i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
