I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
