I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
