I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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