No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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