OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Randomize
