exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
