normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
