the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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