It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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