It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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