What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
