this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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