just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Damn victory sex feels great
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
