I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
my sisters under your porch take her home
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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