You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
