Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
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