if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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