But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
