yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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