if i can run in heels then i can drive
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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