And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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