My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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