I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize