Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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