we're blogging at a bar
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
