So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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