Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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