"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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