Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
