You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
