Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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