In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize