yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
