At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
