I can tuck mytits in my pants
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
