Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
