do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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