and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize