Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
