Will you blow on my dice?
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
