OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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