***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i think i just lost a toe
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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